"Beyond the Senseless" is more like it. Okay, here's the plot - three girls rent a house that is owned by Nuit, king of the night. He tells them they each can have a fantasy of love. The best of the bunch gets a date with Eros (god of love, in case you didn't know). As porn scripting goes the idea ain't half-bad. What makes this tape so poor is the complete lack of professionalism.

There is one scene that almost redeems the tape, but ends up falling flat. Nuit meets with his goddess of the night (Ebony Ayes) and they reminisce about how their lovemaking used to be. Well, it's right out of the alien sex scene in The Man Who Fell To Earth, complete with New Age music and ectoplasmic fluid. But things must be different for Nuit and his woman. When they finish off their major emotional memory with a wet shot to the fact, I found myself rocking back and forth in my chair like a hyper-kinetic child. And they say this video is made for couples.

Freeze frames, slo-mos, and frame-by-frame type advances make other sex scenes seem drug-induced and poorly presented. Hell, even a three-way in the kitchen with food only makes me wretch. The "food" actually must have been some sort of fake banana cake mix or something. Watching Keisha writhe under a dripping mess of what looks like stomach bile only made me want to ask the time-honored question of porn critics everywhere • why am I watching this?