There's this theory — we may have read it in The American Journal of Psychiatry (note to self: renew subscription) — which states that girls hauling around comically gigantic sacks of silicone are just making up for low self-esteem ... that they can't see past next Wednesday to the public smirks behind their backs (and chronic pain thereof) when they age ... that they perceive sex only as a moneymaking proposition.

Well tell that to Trina Michaels. She bangs some uncredited dude with real abandon, throwing in some hot ass-pokes to sweeten the pot. While certain tit men may find this below-the-belt action as a distraction, here it acts as complimentary sideshow to a three ring circus of mammalian excess. Not every gal is as genuine as Michaels, but Daphne Rosen cums close.

Retailing: An audience pleaser that shucks all subtlety.