Ever try beating off in a funhouse? In attempting to imitate the look of authentic 16:9 wide screen, these geniuses took an ordinary TV image and stretched the sides - along with all the visual information.

Getting beyond the impaired picture, we found the vid to be stocked with a tempting variety of blondes, brunettes and redheads - all naturally delicious. (Hmm. Sounds like a deli order.) There's a surprising shortage of buttfucking for European fare; nor are the girls especially sex-crazed, but they're competent cocksuckers who can take a dose of spunk in the face without flinching.

The BTS footage reveals just how dull a still photo shoot can be. The crew sits around reading the newspaper while girls pose between scenes.