With a snazzy DVD cover and opening graphics by Alden's Eye, FEDM5 appears to be a cutting-edge video magazine. In reality, it's just another wall-to-waller bereft of any 'zine-themed content whatsoever. No interviews, no travelogues, no behind the scenes - zip.

Had the sex been volcanic we might've been in a more forgiving mood. It is not. Neither are we. In fact, we find it disingenuous for the producers to proudly proclaim Aussie's first anal scene with a big cover blurb when in fact the girl appears completely uncomfortable with Marcus' ebony pepperoni shoved up her ass. Girls who enjoy a good cornholing are the only ones who should be performing it, we sez.

Marcus scores better in a garage grope with Wendy, a fresh-faced redhead who promptly buries her face in his crotch and readies his meat missile for sidesaddle insertion. Houston, we have lift off - and a successful facial landing. If Nautica's couch coupling (with an unidentified partner) may be the vid's shortest segment, it's still the hottest. Even a better choad chugger than Wendy, Nautica downs his bulbous bratwurst like no other gal on the tape. The couch leaves them little room to perform more than missionary, but the way her perky boobs bounce are a satisfactory reward.