Self-bondage is a funny thing. 'Cuz if you've tied yourself up, you can get yourself out, right? So squirming seems a little insincere.

So begins Waiting for Majors, a forgettable series of rope gags and ass floggings traded between the stars, Bridgett Harrington and Amalieve. Yes, contrast is nice - Harrington is one big-boned mama while her pal is a veritable pixie - but that's about all this vid has going for it.

Note to porn mixers: Background music is meant to be in the background, not obscuring dialogue.