You know sometimes when you go to the movies, and you leave with the feeling that, in about an hour, you're going to forget what you even saw? Two Swords is that kind of tape. The kind that seems to proclaim that fans of tranny video won't need anything besides plain old sex to keep them placated, without any sort of uniqueness of quality whatsoever.

If that was the assumption, then it couldn't be more wrong, because Two Swords is mostly really boring, not only for the viewer, but, it seems, for the actors as well, who seem to be phoning it in, even in a different language.

The three plus hours of bonus footage on the DVD aren't any better, and even hardcore fetishists might never get through it all.