After months of speculation and delayed release dates, Aphrodite, starring Breathless beauty Valerie Kaprisky, has made it to tape.

Twice.

Let me explain.  The company handling Aphrodite, Vestron, also issued Caligula on tape in an uncut and R-rated version some months ago. Adapting the “you can’t argue with success” formula, Vestron has done it again with this rather obscure European sex drama.

So far, sales are reportedly brisk.  No doubt it’s a triumph of marketing ingenuity, as Aphrodite never approaches the “erotic masterpiece” tag pinned to it.

There are some interesting things about this sluggishly paced softcore melodrama.  Ms. Kaprisky, the cheeky stunner who made Richard Gere’s motor overheat in last year’s Breathless, is a gorgeous presence, who bares all here.  She plays the mistress of a perverted millionaire.  Along with a group of other attractive European performers, she acts out a part in Pieree Louys’ ribald novel Aphrodite on a Mediterranean Island in order to please her older keeper.

Most of the film could make it on cable, except for a few potent scenes, which are short, but surprisingly explicit.  However, none of these explicit sequences involve Kaprinsky.  There’s some group sex, an aphrodisiac-powered orgy, and a bit featuring a man rubbing his foot against a woman’s vagina.  Probably more comfortable than a Dr. Scholl Pillow Pad.

But a few offbeat sexcapades do not save this talky, softly focused drama.  It may remind you of an episode of Masterpiece Theatre directed by David Hamilton (Tendres Cousines).

Val and feet.  That’s about it.