"There was a fox who, while crossing the train tracks, had his tail cut off by the engine. When he turned around to see what had happened, his head was cut off by the caboose. Moral of the story: Don't lose your head over a piece of tail."

If you think that rickety old proverb is in the least bit funny or original, then you might like Science Friction. Herschel Savage spouts the line as if it were a revelation from above. If it were only true! The one thing that could have saved this video would have been divine intervention.

The wafer-thin premise of Science Friction is that the women of Planet Urethra (yuk! yuk!) need some good, old-fashioned lovin', and they pick Earth to conquer and rape. If this sounds like a grade Z Fifties sci-fi feature, you're right. Fortunately, flicks like Queen of Outer Space had the effervescent Zsa Zsa Gabor and loads of unintentionally funny dialog to make them memorable. Science Friction has neither.

And how about the sex scenes? don't ask. If a bunch of weird, glittery garbed women suddenly appeared in the middle of your poker game, wouldn't you be the least bit surprised, or worried about intergalactic AIDS or something? Not these dumb guys. They just take off their clothes and accommodate the women from the stars.

Science Friction boasts some of the worst camera work I've ever seen. the opening shot is one long, monotonous take that last forever. Who does the director think he is, Jean-Luc Goddard? Subsequent shots are poorly grips trying to train a spotlight on the writhing bodies), unfocused, and made worse by "futuristic" (i.e. cheesy) video effects.

Send Science Friction back to the "Black Hole" from whence it came.