"Hey, babe. Let's you and me do it here beneath the bough. A loaf of bread, a dental dam, and thou."

Omar Khayam's love poems would undergo some serious modification in view of late 20th century sex practices. Intimacy and spontaneity now have to be tempered in view of extremely serious long-range considerations.

Star of last year's hit, Behind The Green Door: The Sequel, Missy has been an active national spokesperson on behalf of safe sex practices. Guide, however might be a little too coy with presenting its material.

Missy is the perfect plantation hostess— without the mint julep—as she fields questions from "college students." Missy discusses the efficacy of passing around condoms in sandwich bags as one means of getting the gospel out. It's kind of funny when you think about it. Imagine, some nerd tosses away the condom and uses the bag. Then the real hoot is when she whips out a safe sex "kit" that includes rubber gloves, dental dams (for those of the oral persuasion) and sex toy cleaning agents. My prediction is that it will take eons before you see some sexvid stud making like an open heart surgeon on St. Elsewhere.

From an educational and humorous standpoint, I didn't realize there were so many colorful names for rubbers: Yamabuki, The Hugger, Chapeau Blacky...in which case I guess the size that fits Tom Byron is "chateau."

Overlook the "aw shucks, golly, gee whiz Missy" execution of the questions, because the information is vital and important and you might even discover a new wrinkle or two. As the man says, it's what you learn after you think you know it all that really counts.

In Safer Sex, Sheri St. Clair demonstrates, in less time than a three minute egg, the proper method of placing a condom on an erect penis. I know some guys that need three days to get an erect penis. Fine, as far as the demo goes. But the male on male practical application probably has no place in this instructional trailer.

Produced in conjunction with the Gay Men's Health Crisis, Inc. Catalina estimates that nearly 100,000 people will view this tape through their efforts alone and that the tape will be made available without cost to other producers of erotic art.

Both tapes represent an educational breakthrough by the adult industry on behalf of AIDS prevention.