With a cast that sounds like the ingredients on a French yogurt container, Sappho Connection (Connexion a la Francaise) is an ingratiating mixture of oddball, lesbo, clito, dyke-o shenanigans wormed around the plot of a kidnapping.

It seems Virginie has been snatched by a band of international terrorists bent on thugging the drugs, prostitution and garment industries - the plot does get a little dim-witted after a while. "Clitto" Caroline using her newly acquired Sprint number, dials around the free world calling all lesbos to arms to rescue Virginie. The T&A team hooks up in a bare fanny reunion (apparently they licked one another in the same boarding school many years before). While they are fannying, Virginie is writhing, chained to a non-posturepedic mattress and being verbally abused by her captors who tell her "she's really nothing to look at." 1 and Smokey Robinson will second that emotion.

The action and dubbed dialog gets downright ludicrous, and Virginie gets rescued as if you could give a squat. But for beauty and the breast coupled with unintentional hilarity, Sappho Connection is epochal lesbo.