With enough subtle references to it, Vas-O-Line Alley was filmed, presumably, to cash in on Burt Reynold’s gig as a private eye in City Heat.  Unfortunately, Heat crapped out, and Alley went back into the can for the time being.

So, in that context, Sasha Gabor’s Burt-type winces, grimaces and jaw drops are a little bit anachronistic.  Yet, on sight, he’s a convincing Burt as he dons the fashionably beat up trench coat, tools around New York City in a fashionably beat up old Mustang and caters to a female clientele that are fashionably beat up.

As Spike Jammer, P.I., he chances upon a female muggee (Scarlet) in an alleyway, saves her fanny and is promptly offered it in reward for his heroism.  For some until reason, there’s a complimentary jar of vasoline sitting on a trashcan. So much for the title.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, his secretary Zelda (Tasha Voux) is attending to the woes of another beat up client (Sheri St. Clair) who’s been gang sexed by a group of analists in an afterhours joint called The Rear Entrance Club.  The club actually looks more like a biker bar for hairdressers, but it is not Sheri’s hair they’re interested in. She is forced into all forms of domination and submission scenes with a bunch of yo-yos who want to dress up like the Captain and Tenille and the Masked Executioner.  What a night.  And St. Clair wants revenge.  Jammer takes the case on retainer – Sheri’s tush which is now beginning to look like it caught a foul ball at Yankee stadium.  Great stuff these sex scenes are made of.

Throw in a couple more anal scenes, some dialogue between Tasha and Sheri that sounds like a Friday night shower in a girls’ reformatory, and Tasha’s masturbation sequence with something that looks like it came from 20,000 fathoms beneath the sea, and you have a pretty good wrap on this one.  Sheri sparkles, Tasha does a great Streisand: “oy, wouldja look at dose bruises, wouldja,” and Sasha will probably be getting more work now that Burt’s back making films again.