Whip out the old K-Y and rubber gloves, Madeleine. Company's coming!

Bionca, our hostess and guide, is going to take us on a tour of anal land. What's that? Your sphincter's got a headache, and you're not in the mood? Well, Bionca has these anatomical charts and diagrams of backdoor cavities, and she swears you have a better capacity for sexual arousal and excitement with U-turns.

To prove her point, she ships out old 4-Play Video clips, and we can watch a variety of ladies and gents use crystal balls, rubber twinkies, chrome rockets, plastic gadgets that look like railroad boxcars and transistorized fingers. Only problem is everyone's bent over and we need nametags on the butts to tell the players.

If you're not satisfied with that, the camera flashes to Bionca intermittently as she talks dirty to us and makes sexual invitations. Bionca can get away with these invites, you see, because she knows none of us will be able to keep the appointment. Could you imagine the look on her face if some did? Right smack dab in the middle of the video shoot? She'd have to put her money where her backside is.

As it stands, or sits, Back To Back wouldhold up better as a 30-minute video. As it stands there's too much of the same thing from the same angle. A little more camera variety and scene selection, please.