We had to consult the back of the box for a clue as to why this is titled The Visitor; here's what it offers: "A movie about being a visitor and daydreaming in a way only an awesome beauty can." So we still got nothin' there.

What we can tell you, though, is that if the scene between cumback king Tom Byron and sensation of the moment Naomi isn't a stroker for the ages, we don't know what is – despite lighting issues and graininess, we should add, thus proving the old adage, when the sex is scorching, production values don't matter.

Pre-nom for Best Coupling (Naomi & Byron).

Retailing: Noticers of Naomi.