Somewhere in the land there is a place called the Calico Club. It is a real brothel, and the producers have employed real brothelettes in the making of this video. Unfortunately they have used them as window dressing and allowed the actresses to make the tape in the guise of a tour of a real whorehouse.

The feature is somewhat fun to watch. There is, in fact, something for everyone. Included is domination, a scene with a double dildo involving a man and a woman, body painting, a lecture on the history of brothels, a lecture on the do's and do not's of getting laid in one, a guy on his first trip and another lecture on safe sex. The sex, however, is lukewarm up to the last two segments, which run coincidentally. At that point, the feature gets hot, hot, hot.

But it is the famed disappearing condom which catches my fancy. On no less than two occasions, the dreaded rubber, once applied, vanishes mid-shtupp. And I kind of wonder about the house rule that forbids kissing of any kind, and fellatio sans protection, but permits shoe licking, fellatio on an enveloped tool, and cunninglingus of all kinds. Whatever happened to men's lib? All in all, The House Of Sexual Fantasies is an OK filler for a cold winter night.