Senators kidnapped by sexy females…a footloose spy with a beltful of high tech toys and a rocket in his pocket…a villainess with a riding crop and a pussy (in her lap), bent on world domination… En Garde should have been a James Coburn "Flint" movie. Instead, it's played straight as a Polish pretzel; every opportunity for a double entendre is skewered by Peter North's deadpan delivery as the not-so-secret agent man.

Nemesis Serenity devours pussy galore – Melanie Moore and Tiffany Mynx – in her bid to brainwash the greatest minds of Washington. (Senators? C'mon!) Bumbling politico Terry Thomas has carnal congress with Crystal Wilder, yet the expected showdown between Serenity and North amounts not to a ride on his baloney pony, but rather to a tame game of sword swishing (hence the title).

The production values, videography and heat are a cut above the usual vids, but huge chunks of heavy-handed exposition almost grind the show to a halt. Nice packaging. Additional cast: T.T. Boy, Sahara, Jake Williams.