If this is Modern Love, then no wonder half of L.A. winds up on "The Love Connection" and the other half watches it.  Director Holzman has shot a gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous film that's waiting for someone to kick it in the ass and tell it the coffee's ready.

In wading through 14 different how-tos on tickling your partner's fancy, the film tries to be too profound in its approach to lovemaking, and in so doing looks like it's begging for the American Family Association seal of approval.  There's a staggering amount of nudity that doesn't realize that nudity is also from the waist down.  If Holzman was going for the Playboy-look here, he succeeded, because Modern Love definitely has a look-but-don't-touch aspect to it.  Also, the art of tease is certainly missing in action, which is ironic when each of the titled vignettes suggest that's exactly what you're going to get.

Lots of familiar (and some new) faces dot the landscape and you've seen them do a lot nastier.  Why punches were pulled here (yeah, we know it's supposed to be R-rated, but...) is anyone's guess.  Maybe someone saw the cover of the March G.Q. - "Why No One's Having Sex in L.A." by Julia Phillips.  This is the tape that lends credence to it.