Panties — Crystal Wilder sniffs 'em, washes 'em, masturbates with 'em, and has an almost religious devotion to the darn things. Horner, her shrink, is a bit of a nut himself, fostering her dirty phone calls while boffing his secretary (Nikki Sinn). Sinn's got problems of her own — she craves anal. "I can't be all things to all women," he whines, and gives her the number of a client (Byron) who may be able to satisfy her needs.

Shades of Ed Wood Jr.: Tommy wears panties too, and he doesn't do anal; he needs it himself! Skye Blue and Tracey West (Byron's concubines) perform an at-home fashion show (one guess as to their attire). Yes, Byron is boned by West and Nikki receives anal satisfaction with Skye's strap-on. Talk about a first date! Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Wilder goes off the deep end, fantasizing that her male love doll is none other than Randy Spears! (I don't know who should be more offended, Spears or the rubber Roger!)

Here's a video that goes after a select market and nails it dead on, but whether your customers appreciate it depends on how much of a fetish they have. Most of them secretly do, so we recommend stocking these Panties.