Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear when "knock-knock" videos were a fashion statement.

As a kind of elegy to one of the limpest XXX premises ever devised, Don Fernando wants to get girlfriend Gabriella interested in anal sex and decides to call an outcall service to send over a couple to stir the pot. Only hitch is, the couple (Randy West and Cheyenne) doesn't do an anal scene, and Don spends half the video apologizing to everyone within earshot. He might also apologize for some of the editing.

For the record, Gabriella takes it up the chute from Don in the finale after three more standardly executed non-anal scenes. Debi Diamond is featured in two scenes, and though she usually accounts for an extra rating point, seems more on the outside looking in; ditto Deborah Wells, who graces the nice boxcover.