Ding Dong . . . pizza man. "Take off your clothes."

These and other porn cliches are ribbed in the first of Carol Cummings new series, a sexual satire based on, among other things, Garry Shandling's critically acclaimed Showtime program.

Carol Cummings has been hyped to max and she's certainly the dark, statuesque and extremely sexy brunette we've been waiting for. But she's better than the material here. After screwing mailman Marc Wallice (very hot), she takes the viewer on an excursion -- orchestrating a lesbian scene, watching her cook have sex with a goy scout (who sells white bread and mayo instead of cookies) and then introduces the pizza man sequence.

The idea's good, Carol's good, but the video doesn't hold up, quality-wise, to other productions, especially those of director Bone himself. Come Rain, Come Shine tries to be clever, but it's not clever enough. The sex is OK, but there's way too much starkly lit grind. In-jokes about the low budgets of today's features, which helped cover up the low budget of Bone's other campy features for Fantasy, fall flat here. This one just looks too, well, low budget. Good try, with future results hopefully better. Meanwhile, Carol Cummings will be a star.