Consistency may be the hobgoblin of foolish minds to Ralph Waldo Emerson, but it seems also to apply to Legend Video, which possesses a laissez-faire attitude towards the contents of their pro-am series. It takes more than just footage — any kind of footage — to make great pro-am; the key is in discrimination, and we ain't talkin' back of the bus. Sifting through these twelve volumes is like being on an archeological dig: lots of grunt work, but occasionally a buried treasure is uncovered. All the problems endemic to amateur product riddle these videos: shaky/static videography, buzzing soundtracks, popping flashbulbs, washed-out images; and, to be diplomatic: user-unfriendly performers.

The Hidden Camera series irregularly attempts a Buttman-style POV, (though I never heard Stagliano whisper "move yuh leg, I can't see nuthin!") while sneaking up on performers in flagrante delicto. To his everlasting credit, Benji, a rather rotund, swarthy gentleman in HC 4 and DD 3, really knows how to please his equally plump girlfriends; real foamy juices flow as he licks and fingers their pussies/butts; smacking his dick and rubbing an ice cube on the latter. One orgasm won't satiate this couple; Benji dives in for anal sloppy seconds. In the most crisply-shot and edited sequence on HC 6, Raquel Linneau and Jeph get down to some kitchen countertop action; tasty oral on her shaven cooze dominates the sequence until he tops her off with- a creamy dessert in the mouth. Superb angles and raw heat make this the quintessential amateur entry; compare with the bruised, mop-haired, pimply-assed, "female type" in HC 5 and you'll know what we mean about being discriminating.

Muff-munching aficionados will fare better with the First Time Lesbians line, which pairs ladies of genuine lesbian bent for a varied selection of shape and ethnicity. Case in point: Taj Mahal, a young, dark-hued lip-smacker who practically siphons the tongue out of her cute Caucasian partner's mouth in FTL 4. In fact, if deep kissing cocks your proverbial hammer, then two extremely aggressive babes in the second segment on FTL 6 ought to unload the revolver! Soulful face-sucking is their forte, but rigid nipple chomping and splendid 69 comes in a high second. Those of hardy disposition may want to check out a chunky gusher in FTL 4, but the award for Olympic climaxer goes to Pamela Dee, whose makes waves on a diving board with dynamic Dianna's dildo.

Double rhymes with trouble and here in River City, that spells specialty tape. Though it's certainly not our place to judge the validity of the market, we can say with all graciousness that Double D Amateurs is for decidedly arcane tastes. While most big boob vids usually feature average-proportioned women with super-enhanced knockers, DDA leans more to the big lady variety — as in corpulent. So for the audience that craves wet-crotched fleshy doughballs getting tit-fucked, relief is on the way. Strangely, a few of the volumes are padded with sequences featuring average-sized, ethnic women (Russian Tanya, DDA 5; and a Mexican tramp in DDA 4, both packing a set of delectable rocket-sized nipples) whose splendid sexual accomplishments far exceed their looks.