The Bed and How To Make It is a world full of false eyelashes, cheap mascara and stupefying moral compromises.

The action starts right in over the title credits, as a young couple have a cheap fling in a hotel room-for-hire. The place is owned and operated by Russ and Connie Hill who realize that the bustling trade is quickly overmatching their ability to keep up with a supply of fresh bed sheets. Enter, Connie's relative, Ellen Cooper. Only Ellen isn't the sweet innocent yahoo from the sticks as we might imagine.

Her presence on the scene prompts immediate antagonism between her and Connie. With dreams of better pay days dancing in her head, Ellen less-than-enthusiastically accepts a job as a domestic but we soon discover she's an incorrigible tease (she undresses with the doors open). As a shyster follows an ambulance, Ellen seems to have no trouble in stirring up men, particularly Russ.

Connie, a recovering alcoholic, senses the affair and wants Ellen out of the way. Connie's vice sets up the revenge motif wherein Ellen capitalizes on her weakness for the sauce. With a little help from Ellen's friends, Connie is drawn into a salacious web of alcoholic depravity and despair. A morally uplifting film if there ever is one.

Ellen, as played by Francine Ashley, might remind you a little bit of Barbra Streisand playing Fanny Brice, and video hounds should be on the lookout for the Suzanne Pleshette and Natalie Wood lookalikes as the action steamrolls toward the inevitable orgy.

"You wanna come to da pahty? Everybody's gonna be dere," says Ellen.

Guess what? This ain't an Amway event.

Stars Francine Ashley, Judson Todd, Lorraine Claire, Peggy Stephans, Barbara Kemp