"Velma and Clarice" loosely based on the mainstream film Thelma and Louise, is kind of like "Thelma and Louise Drive Along the Pacific Highway And Stop Every Once in Awhile To Indulge in Buttslapping." Greta Carlson and Alexis Payne are the duo, and Payne feels it's her duty to punish Carlson for flirting with men, robbing a store and using a telephone. Only she thuds Greta's ass with the vitality of a Thorazine enthusiast, while Greta squeals and squirms unconvincingly under her ministrations.

The only high points in this story are Carlson's fair skin which turns a spectacular shade of salmon when slapped; and one brief erotic moment when Payne (who never disrobes) straddles Carlson's ass with her long, slim legs framed by skin-tight cutoffs. The moment is nearly ruined, however, by Greta's thigh cellulite shimmering in the sunlight. "You gotta think, honey. You gotta thinkl Payne admonishes her. You gotta think about investing in a Stairmaster.. .honey.

"What Are Friends For" poses the burning question: Why must one wear conservative panties and what purpose does it serve when the wearer works— fully clothed— for a florist? Carlson assumes the dominant role in this one with Ona Zee as her spankable employee. Why Ms. Zee is being spanked is made deathly clear throughout the segment— she doesn't dress conservatively enough for her bespectacled boss. This insane, ad-libbed dialogue is repeated over and over.

Greta is marginally better in this vignette and Ona has a couple of bright moments— when one her skin-tight leopard-print panties are slowly peeled down to reveal her lovely ass cheeks and shaved pussy. Ona also shines when (for unexplained reasons) she's allowed to dominate Greta for several seconds.

Recommended for Carlson fans, but those looking for "meaningful" plot and heavy duty eroticism will find this offering on the thin side.