The plot consists of one dialogue scene where the premise is set up. Something about a special type of sunglasses that causes women to turn into anal nymphs. That done, the obligatory five sex scenes are paraded. No more sign of the wafer-thin plot.

The sound is atrocious, tin-can-like. We even hear bystanders and crew mumble in the background during sex and dialogue.

Melanie Moore's opening anal romp with Morgan and a decent humping between Dominigue and Scott Irish saves The Assford Wives from total disaster - but the result is still limp.