Like the late comedian Jackie Vernon's long-winded story, about the man who travels clear across the world to Shangri-La to find the true meaning of life, Two Hearts (strangely named) is a story you're either going to love or hate, depending on the direction your sense of humor takes.

Unfortunately, Two Hearts' punchline isn't nearly as dry as Vernon's, to make it worth repeating, but it does rate serious viewer consideration for its attempt to present visually stimulating adult entertainment.

Apparently Randy Spears' late father, a scientist, has tattooed the true meaning of life on the head of Randy's dick.  Naturally, we have to draw some suspicions about Randy's father and where he was coming from.  Unfortunately, the only way Randy can decipher the message is by getting a hard-on, and he's impotent.  Sex therapist Kym Wilde resorts to all kinds of visual ploys to get Randy's tail wagging, but to no avail.  A competition then leaves Raquel and Ona Zee as the only women left with a chance to change the world.  Will it b the young, sexy Raquel or the older, more worldly Ona who can successfully make Spear shoot rockets to the moon?

Maybe Spears has a problem getting it up, but the viewer won't, as director Gloria Leonard negotiates some stunning screen heat with the Kym Wilde and lionine Steve Strong shower scene.  A major turn-on.

A definite must-stock tape.