There's Haagen-Dazs ice cream, there's Ralph's sherbet, and then there's the crowd who can't tell the difference. This vid is for them. There's nothing inherently bad about this Buttman-styled imitation, but Don Fernando's hostly panache quickly runs out of steam. A few of the public tease sequences, with peeks at genuine French cheek (we're not talking sens'a humor) are tantalizing if overlong, as is the insipid dialogue.

Oddly, the Cannes Festival scenes aren't nearly as strong as the U.S. opener, with compelling handheld videography (in a romantic beach house) covering every delicious angle of pretty Diane O'Daine and Fernando's horizontal mambo. Mike Horner's stairway anal/jism launching on Natasia's pussy is uplifting, a lesbian encounter with P.J. Sparxx and Sierra not quite so. Nice framing on a Dick Nasty/Sierra shower stall tryst and b.j./facial climax (Dealer note: Not to be confused with French Open, an Odyssey Video Group release of several years ago.)