Fallon may have marked the trail; Kerri Downs may hold the volume and frequency titles, Sara-Jane Hamilton turned out to be a splash in the pants, but I think the issue is now decided: Lili Xene is the squirt Queen. Lilli is a longtime favorite of mine, much underappreciated, but I think that she can take her place in the front rank of stars. She's sixty lushly-curved inches, about 125 pounds, at least twenty of which are her fabulous heavy boobs, and the feeling I've long had that every inch was juicy is confirmed here, as she splashes the landscape then times in this steamy video.

Pussyman 8 keeps us the "search for the star" motif of previous volumes, with the usual tongue-in-cheek humor enhanced by the presence of Hustler Erotic Video Guide editor Mike Albo, who jousts doubtfully with Pussyman and Will Divide over whether there really is a squirter out there. He's a funny guy, the George Costanza of porndom, and the ham-on-wry shtick of Jon Dough as private dick Sam Snatch is countered by the prehensile eyebrows of his cousin, Steven St. Snatch (love the name!).

There's the usual ration of tease, too, with the delectable Summer Knight reprising her desktop writhing, this time with squirt guns, from the first Pussyman. Another stellar tease scene, worthy of nomination, is turned in by Melissa Monet, who auditions for Tom Chapman. She talks as dirty as Debi Diamond ever did, while wielding one of those two-headed vibrators, whose smaller head forks into a fanged appendage that repeatedly pinches Melissa's swollen clit until she gushes a flood for Tom. Nominate the staircase leather-clad posing by the trio of Bionca, Rebecca Lord, and Nikki Sinn, too, enhanced by the gift of clit clips (and a few strategic pussylicks), donated by designer/model Judy, of Body Jewelry by Judy. Lili replaces Rebecca for an all-girl threeway, highlighted by Nikki wedging eight inches of a ribbed vibe up Bionca's asshole. Bionca returns the favor with a strap-on, as Nikki munches Lili's newly-shaven snatch, and Lili rivals Peter North with six big squirts. Whew!

When Rebecca auditions for Steve, they get off a "snatch" of classic dialogue. Steve: You're here for the squirt? Rebecca: Oui, wee-wee (I think I got that right.) Rebecca also provides stunning deep throat to both Steve and J.D., but her squirts come from a plastic purse gun. Fallon, though, returns in great form, squirting three times as she couples with Tom Chapman in the shower, the climax as she deep-throats Tom to a huge finish.

Lili cements her position in a  closing scene with Jon Dough. She swallows his dick after extensive teasing, and takes a hug splash on her chest. She returns the favor by trying to start a waterfall down the staircase. It's the whole package: the hourglass figure, the raw sensuality, the teasing, the squirting. Lilli mounts the throne!