OK, so Diesel is apt to give John Holmes a case of grave-spinning penis envy. No news there. Nor is it news to report that despite his massive horsecock and winning personality, the guy doesn't sling the schlong like a Performer of the Year. Furthermore, his pops just kinda dribble out?they're probably exhausted after having to travel that lengthy journey from his balls.

We doubt this will hurt Diesel's feelings. After ruling the locker room for so many years, he's clearly confident enough to stand an objective comment (which clearly doesn't hamper his ability to get laid). Hell, if anyone was ever born for porn, it's Diesel.

Content-wise, MDFB is just another dumb pickup title with tedious ad-libs, but the girls are cute and willing. Every scene has its moments.

Retailing: Interracial aisle; also shop it on gay males.