Why, oh why, has this 1992 nugget been lying around unreleased for this long? This 35 mm film has the look and feel of a mainstream release with hardcore sex thrown in. A remake of the Dumas classic, Deidre Holland plays the Queen of France whose chastity belt is unlocked by Duke Steve Drake, who then takes her royal rump. The Queen's dressmaker, Nina Hartley, flirts with musketeer Morgan before he gives her a sponge bath, licking her gently before mounting his musket into her mound. Nomination-worthy nookie! Britt Morgan seduced Dough's aide, the "pious" Nick East, into penetrating her fur pie.

The acting ranges from serviceable to shining, with Harley, Holland, and LaRue (in a non-sex campy comic cameo) as names with which to mark those ballots. The cinematography, costumes, and sets are divine! This is a must-stock for your couples section.