Remember the funny scene in "Airplane" where a couple of soul brothers need an interpreter? You get that same feeling at times listening to some of the performers in Black Cum-On Lines, a fifth cousin twice-removed from the more famous Pick-Up Lines series.

Besides that, we also have a study in sharp, shifting contrasts. The "cum-ons," for the most part, occur in nice outdoor settings, warm to the eye. The sex, however, is carried out in places where you wouldn't fuck a cockroach. For instance, Byron Long puts the moves on Obsession in a supermarket then tells her his place is "a little sparse." Alcatraz is a little sparse.

The girls are above-average. The sex is average. The fuck-pads are way below average. Somebody's got to raise the average.