What usually comes to mind when you think of Rob Black? Perhaps the phrase, "sick fuck?" Black himself would agree. Maybe the title, "Dark Prince of Porn"? Certainly Black would be flattered. How about the accolade, "creative and talented director?"

No? Not a chance? Cold day in hell?

Well, git yer coat, plop down on the couch, and prepare to be amazed by Black's latest vid. Go ahead, just try to fast-forward through Miscreants. You won't make it past the opening credits without hitting the play button, and even then, you'd be missing out.

Saying this video is an inspired, delusional wet dream is like describing Bill Gates as "and the the." It's true, but a slight understatement. In fact, Miscreants is more akin to a fuck-filled mixture of Pulp Fiction, Naked Lunch andThe Wizard of Oz. Throw in some decent acting, superb lighting and editing, and a great soundtrack that actually enhances the action instead of obscuring it, and you get the idea. Maybe.

The story opens with two thugs ransacking a bedroom, desperately searching for someting. Then, in the first of many narrative non sequiturs, we see them gagging Stephanie Swift with duct tape before binding her hands and wrists. Once she's truly helpless, they throw her into a nearby pool, where we watch as she sinks to the bottom and apparently drowns.

See? This is an extremely rare adult video, one in which you literally never know what to expect next, but can't wait to find out. One thing does tie into the next, and you know that even if things don't make sense now, they will later. It isn't just the meaningless stream of weird-for-weird's-sake bullshit that so many porn amateurs pass off as high-concept smut.

Okay, so back to Stephanie Swift, climbing out of the pool. (Yes, yes, you thought she drowned. Remember, this video's like a psychedelic Windex commercial. Just watch the pretty streaks, and all will be made clear.) Alive, well, and dripping wet, Swift happens upon a little poolside garden orgy, complete with a butler handing out dildos from a silver tray. Highlights of this group-grope, which is pre-nomination-worthy (as are all the scenes on this tape), are Dru Berrymore gracing Jack Hammer with a really sloppy blowjob; Liza Harper's really huge, gaping asshole devouring an enormous dildo as she slams it up her own backside; Randee Lee really getting into having Tom Byron's cock in her ass, and both of the men providing a special frosting for the hors d'oeuvres.

Suddenly, the butter tosses Swift a chunky necklace, and tells her to run, which she does. She's picked up by Jeanna Fine in a limousine, and taken to Fine's house for a hot bath, and a hotter solo masturbation scene during which Swift fantasizes about blowing two huge schlongs through a pair of glory holes in the walls. Meanwhile, the two goons from the first scene sit under a pier and shoot up (no, not really), waxing philosophical about the state of a world in which old ladies carry guns and knives.

It ain't horseshit to say that telling you more would actually spoil several surprises. Just trust that you'll want to see the scorching four-way with Swift, Fine, Tiffany Mynx and Deva Station. You'll want to see the wheelchair-bound Brooke Ashley getting banged by three hoods in an alley. You'll want to see Marc Wallice shoving four fingers up Swift's tiny back passage before assaulting her pucker in a way-hot, rough-sex three-way with Mickey G.

Rob Black may still be a sick fuck, but his new alter ego, the creative and talented director, is extremely good at what he does, too... and you'll want to see that.