If your customers think Jerry Springer is paramount daytime television programming, Night Calls may be the kind of evening entertainment that would appeal to them. The hosts are Juli Ashton, a porno star who knows a thing or two about sex, and Doria - an absolute nobody with a bad tit job who likes nothing more than to hear herself jabber like a monkey on Thorazine. Apparently somebody had the questionable taste to give them a live weekly show on the Playboy Channel, Sheesh. They could've picked up a few Discovery Channel specials on the mating habits of penguins: Much cheaper, and far more entertaining as well.
Part documentary (you don't wanna see Doria without makeup), part clips from the show, and thoroughly annoying, Night Calls shamelessly appropriates Howard Stern's gig on the E! Channel. They even copped the requisite butt bongo sessions and a kielbasa swallowing contest. All that's missing is Stern's quick repartee and a drunken dwarf or two. Callers phone in while having sex, guests drop by, and the hostesses find a way to eat up valuable air time by making crude, scatological comments or simply leering suggestively at each other while displaying dildos.
With creativity plummeting to an all time low, the final nail in the coffin arrives as Chloe - arguably the reigning mistress of hardcore anal sex - attempts to demonstrate how she inserts a bizarre-looking toy up her ass. Being the Playboy Channel, this nasty act is reduced to a softcore affair, rendering the scene as arousing as a Regis and Kathie Lee segment. Doria and Juli talk the talk... and that's all, folks.