With a plot as Byzantine as Procopius' Secret History, and acting that only serves to further obscure matters, one sometimes wonders whether or not to take The Tarnished Knight at face value. Is it really a brilliantly conceived lampoon of bad spy thrillers? Maybe a surrealist allegory?

As for the plot... well, take a deep breath. Peter North is a former Marine embassy guard who was disgraced when, after he pulled a double-dealing ambassador's bacon out of the fire as their Middle-Eastern embassy was Teheran'd said ambassador arrests him after planting in his jacket a roll of very incriminating film. Gasp!

Cut to Hollywood, where actress Ashley Renee has just been honored with some kind of award. She celebrates with a simmery fourway, and then sees her lover, maid and her maid's lover blown up by a bomb intended for her. Her studio hires North as her body guard and we're off to the races. Solid sex distracts from some serious thespian shortcomings.