Despite its Westernized names, the real secret about Princess is that she's starring in an un-translated East European import that's chiefly composed of mediocre lesbian encounters. This title gets off to a low-flying start with three (!!!) redundant girl/girl gropes before the King even has a chance to wield his scepter.

By then, if anyone hasn't fallen asleep, they'll be treated to a few blasé threesomes; making one wish they'd drop the sovereign monarch and go back to muff munching!

The girls are pretty and the rented castle location and costumes bring production values to the production, but somebody should've poked the players with a stick to wake 'em up.

Retailing: Europorn.