Wicked Pictures, all-star cast, gorgeous cover with Serenity front-and center... I don't know why I bother, this is a guaranteed big seller and I haven't even cracked the box yet.

[85 minutes later]

Wow.

This is good stuff. Eight sex scenes, four featuring cover cutie Serenity (and if that ain't truth in advertising, I don't know what is) who even returns to her g/g roots in one of the scenes. Truly gorgeous photography by pre-nommed Jake Jacobs, who manages to replicate that Vilmos Zsigmond McCabe & Mrs. Miller/Long Goodbye flashed-film look on videotape, and great jazzy background music by Brian B and the SCSi Posse.

Even better, this is a no-apologies wall-to-waller, the sex scenes tied together by no other reason than they're all happening in the same hotel. No arcane labyrinthine plot teetering precariously like, oh, a hat on a horse.

To name but one example: Serenity, in the hotel hallway, gets aroused by the sounds of lovemaking behind a closed door and starts to masturbate, sitting down in the hall to get comfortable. Some guy walks into the hall. She matter-of-facctly looks into the POV camera, her eyes saying, "Yeah, I'm plaing with myself. What of it?" She hen leans up to the guy's crotch and starts to lick him through his pants, and ten opens his fly and gets down to business. We never see the guy's face.

The pretty images and mood music - plus the substantial use of condoms - will sell this one to your couples market. The hot sex - and Serenity leading an all-star cast - will sell it to your jaded regulars.

Stock. Sock. Stock. Stock. Stock.