Racist, homophobic and often just plain stupid, The Cellar is Robert Black's waste of considerable talent: A home video dressed as a feature, designed to offend blacks, gays and anyone with an erotic sensibility. Sure, there's some, hot, well-shot sex, but viewers must paddle through the muck to get there.

Rob Black's best work is laced with an off-beat sense of humor and a weird, gothic mood. But features where this is true, such as Cellar Dweller 2, sex comes first. Here, Black breaks the cardinal rule of porn: getting to the sex in the first few minutes. Black and Tom Byron blabber on in a seven-minute opening before Van Damage walks in to break the monotony. Then, despite some missed insertion shots, Damage's opening scene with two babes ends up pretty hot.

Afterwards, you get endless self-indulgence from Byron and Black, ripping on Steven St. Croix, taking about who knows what —stuff which can only be interesting to Black's friends. Ten minutes of lollipop-sucking and offending gay people goes by until the classic line, "I gotta go take a shit," ends the scene. This, my friends, is not erotic.

The second sex scene begins 31 minutes into the video, and it's the now infamous anal nun scene where Candy Hill and Amanda, who have presumably been celibate, somehow know how to give great blowjobs. And finally, the viewer gets and excellent scene with the sexy Tiffany Mynx fucking Vince Vouyer after giving head to a gun.

Enter retarded people and human birds (already used in Black's previous videos) and lots of unfunny filler designed to shock rather than titillate. Of course, nothing prepares you for Mila donning a Ku Klux Klan hood and spewing the word "nigger" at Tony Eveready and Byron Long (who are smoking crack, of course) before taking two large black cocks in her pussy, followed by some double penetration. She fists some fish egg thing. Who knows? It's so confusing. We haven't seen this kind of blatant racism in porn since the darkest days of the Dark Brothers.

I love the concept of The Cellar. In the basement of an otherwise "normal" retail location, people can have their nastiest, even nightmarish, fantasies fulfilled. Robert Black is capable of shooting awesome sex. but this piece has a slapdash feel (handwritten signs give it a cheap look) with obviously no script and more in-jokes than attempts to portray eroticism.