January starts the year off fine...

With Jami Ferrell, a Hoosier with hooters the size of basketballs, who performs full-court lay-ups in the buff.

February, you're my little valentine...

Small-busted Jennifer Miriam will capture your heart with what can only be described as a ribald cactus dance.  Watch out for those pricks, girls!

March, I'm gonna march you down the aisle...

Terminally single Priscilla Taylor thrives on luxury spas, where hands from unseen bodies caress and knead her ample curves.

April, you're the Easter Bunny when you smile...

And Jennifer Allan makes the whole New York skyline light up with grins when she bops around naked in her picture-window loft.

May, maybe I ask your dad and mom...

Cute li'l Kimber West moves out of her parents' Georgia home, where she can unpack boxes in Southern Comfort without a stitch of confining garments.

June, they'll let me take you to the junior prom...

And model Lynn Thomas takes the prettiest picture as her fingers wander around her cream 'n coffee skin amid the popping flash bulbs.

July, like a firecracker all aglow...

German native Nadine Chanz experiences true independence as she dances the night away awash in the glow of a hundred neon signs.

August, when you're on the beach you steal the show...

And that goes twice for Angel Lynn Boris, whose virtuous name belies a devilish penchant for public nudity -- on her fire escape.

September, light the candles, say you're sweet sixteen...

Ulrika Ericsson performs a naked candle-lighting ceremony while trussed up in Victorian garb, which she soon sheds like a writhing snake.

October, Romeo and Juliet on Halloween...

Victoria Silvstedt's fall costume is a car mechanic's jumpsuit, which she soon unzips -- to polish the hood of a '38 Packard with her delicious flesh bumper.

November, I'll give thanks that you belong to me...

Viewers will find themselves supplicant before the sight of all-American beauty Carrie Stevens, whose bare jugs act as fine ballast to help her reel in a big marlin.

December, you're the present 'neath my Christmas tree...

And finally, blonde Kelly Monaco is a literal winged angel whose naked frolicking makes the heavens rain down feathers.

Yeah, yeah, my heart's in a whirl -- I love, I love I love my little calendar girl -- every day of the year!