It's a toss-up here as to which is more of a snooze fest: the overly talky, unintentionally laugh-able, paper-thin story about the sexual exploits of an 18th century woman of means or the conservative, deadly-dull fucking itself. Whatever. Both move at a snail's pace.

The only things that save this Euro-production from total meltdown status are the pretty cast and the equally pretty production values, particularly the costume and set designs.

But they can hardly compensate for the fact that the oh-so-vanilla boy/girl couplings, each one damn near less inspired than the last (and all set to the exact same silly harpsichord music), are virtually impossible to get off on.