Game show schmaltz meets sadism/masochism kink with S/M Survivor, with inconsistent results.

Damien Hall plays our gothed-out host, who's a little less annoying than Regis Philbin, and doesn't let you forget who, exactly, he is with dialogue like, "Welcome to this week's edition of S/M survivor where contestants play for large sums of money while they get their asses beat." Admittedly, the English accent gives Survivor a Weakest Link sort of panache.

The way to Gia Regency and Angela, both very American, compete to win the 50,000 English pounds, obviously, is surviving the most whacks without safe-wording out, or being able to remain mummified the longest (though it's like watching paint dry), or drinking the most pee (retailers in sensitive areas take note), or having the most clothespins on their body from Mistress Gemini. Hall reads off their punishments on cards written in even more punishing heroic couplet form.

With players who are more enthusiastic and who can take a beatin', this game show could do much better.