If anybody needs proof that The Blair Witch Project was an utter pile of shit that left nothing in its wake but the lingering stench of intellectual bankruptcy... well, here it is. The over-hyped Artisan Entertainment hit has provided every dumb fuck in New Jersey with an excuse to shoot boring, senseless garbage in a similar format. Wretched, amateur production values and babbling non-actors are now supposed to be construed as artful homage rather than lack of talent. The girls in this awful softcore parody are pretty damned saucy (especially Katie Jordon, who did a nice pissing layout for Hustler's Taboo last year) but they can't redeem the incoherent script... even when they're having fake lesbian sex. Worse, the video box features a self-important indie film manifesto that attempts to justify the contents with anti-Hollywood rhetoric. Self-indulgent hipsters like these would-be filmmakers should be put to death using every implement seen in the nine Friday the 13th movies.