It has been said that in order to parody something, you must have a deep and abiding love for it.

This is crap.

What you need is talent.

XXX Training has that just-right combination of love for the adult-vid genre and talent to burn. It runs right down the same well-lubricated groove hewn by the multiple-AVN-Award-winning Double Feature! two years ago and last year's M Caught In The Act. Unsurprisingly, many of the same talented people are involved. Director Jonathan Morgan. Cameraman Jake Jacobs. Serenity. Alexa. Randy Spears. Plus new talent like Nina Ferrari and Lee Stone.

Of course, if you want to laugh, there are plenty of funny movies over on the mainstream side. XXX Training doesn't stint on the sex either.

After a frenzied go-round with Serenity and Ian Daniels, we cut to Serenity sitting in an editing bay. In perfect infomercial mode, she says that porn videos need actors: "What's that, you say? You didn't realize that pornos need actresses? Au contraire, my friend..." as she leads us into a behind the scenes tour through "Wicked Studios."

The first step is with Zana, a scriptwriter who goes undercover to get real-world background to add realism to her scripts. We see her as a pizza delivery girl, natch. She rings the doorbell, and tan, buffed Lee Stone comes to the door. Naked, except for an apron. His wife is out and she took his money, he explains, as she feverishly takes notes. How can he pay for the pizza? She writes, muttering, "This is good stuff." They do their scene together as she jots down dialogue. Finally the scene climaxes with a facial and her handing him a release to sign.

Cut to Serenity reading the completed script: "A pizza delivery scene?!? Can't this fuckin' hack come up with anything better? I could pull a better script outta my - [Sees camera] Oh, hi. As you can see, we got our finished script today, and it looks like we have another winner."

Then they have to raise the cash for the production, which Finance Manager Vinny (Rob Spallone) arranges by setting up rich geek Kyle Stone with Lola and Nina Ferrari.

Then the video has to be cast. A casting director, a young woman with her hair piled high on her head and a businesslike suit - okay, showing some cleavage - says straight-facedly that most porn performers have masters or Ph.D. degrees, and it's hard finding performers who meet Wicked's high academic standards. She is then shown auditioning Pat Myne and Jason McCain, seeing if they can maintain concentration while she's fellating them, and finally getting d.p.'d for her trouble.

Finally, the shoot takes place. Serenity and Kylie Ireland are in Elizabethan dress in a contemporary jail. Good thing they're wearing denim cutoffs underneath. This well-crafted dialogue starts their scene:

SERENITY: Hey, convict, you wanna have some sex?

KYLIE: I got some dildos.

SERENITY: Excellent.

KYLIE: Cool.

(Just to add the perfect in-touch, the translucent dildos are from Serenity's company, Las Vegas Novelties.)

Finally, the post-production, where a caricatured bad porn actor (Anthony Crane) gets morphed into Randy Spears for a scene with Alexa and Serenity.

Like Airplane! and before that, Mad magazine, the frame is filled with little throwaway gags. Like Lee Stone's apron that reads BLOW THE COOK. Or the whoosh sound when Serenity says she's a back-to-back AVN Award winner and two hands bearing award statues whip into frame and back out again. Or Brad Armstrong scurrying around undressing Serenity and Kylie while Jonathan - playing a caricature of an out-of-control director - orates. Or the part where Serenity says "Nobody wants to watch a fat hedgehog sweating over an 18-year-old girl" and there's a cut to Ron Jeremy pulling a sandwich out of his mouth and saying, outraged, "Hey!" Also a few more I don't want to spoil. To keep the laughs coming, two minutes of outtakes follow the vid proper.

Pre-noms for Jonathan Morgan for writing and directing. Rob Spallone for non-sex performance. Serenity for acting (And can I say how proud I am that I belong to two organizations - AVN and XRCO - that actually honor comedic performances in acting categories) and the Spears/Alexa/Serenity closer for group scene. Jacobs for videography. And see if the Venetian Sports Book will take bets on the AVN Awards, okay?

And a box of AA batteries to Morgan for his home TV remote. Keep 'em coming, pal.