Anybody who’s had the dreadful misfortune of sitting through an episode of the intellectual compost heap that is CBS sitcom 2 Broke Girls should know that its sole value to the cultural terrain is its awesome potential as porn parody fodder.

Sadly, this porn parody does not fulfill that potential.

Less a fleshed-out feature (pardon the pun) than a series of barely connected scenes mostly involving the titular characters finagling money or goods out of people by way of sex, this feels like a throwback to the stereotypically low grade video fare of the ’80s and early ’90s. Forgiving the acting quality—Blazed Studios is essentially a pro-am operation, after all—there just is no real cohesiveness to anything going on here, the audio largely sounds like it was recorded in an aluminum tunnel, there is an actual laugh track inserted at inexplicable moments, and worst of all, the sex is utterly lifeless almost throughout.

That said, Blazed should be commended for attempting to break away from its usual treading ground of taboo relations and handjobs, and according to the box, 2 Broke Sluts boasts several firsts for stars Reagan Lush and Lexi Luna (namely Lush’s first b/g, and the first g/g and threesome for the pair), so there may just be a selling point or two here for fans of the studio and/or the girls. What’s more, Blazed has run a fairly impressive marketing campaign for the movie … and it would appear a sequel is on the way that brings the girls to Vegas.

Perhaps that one will better deliver on 2 Broke Girls’ innate porno promise?