Fairuza Balk's doing porn and she's calling herself Katie Jordan. Oh! Flight of fancy. Didn't mean to get it into print. Similarly fanciful customers should be made aware, however, of the mainstream attractiveness of the female performers.

Stock music away! Far, far away – while the provided soundtrack is, er, different and ominous, it's also overpowering. Language is one of the building blocks of a good domination scene, and the addition of the pounding orchestral suspense music to already muddy audio is grievous.

Small-but-powerful Jacklyn Lick ties up chatroom friend Jordan in Jordan's well-appointed dungeon and goes to town, doling out whomp-ass with a kind of comforting, cool flair. Then Jordan takes a Goth-girl turn.

Bondage, whipping, paddling, hot wax, sensation tease and torture, switching, vampirism – a great recipe that could have made a better cake.