By the end of this "nymphomercial" you'll have the urge to call 555-4-NYMPHOS just to see if someone really answers; and if they do, you'll want to ask them why the fuck they did —shouldn't they be fucking or something?

That's the premise here. During 24-hour infomercial, people fuck; and as you can tell by the cast, a lot o people fuck. Having A-list performers doesn't necessarily mean great acting —which would have been required to pull this off— but it does mean good sex. Not great, but good.

Ron Jeremy and Julie Meadows are our hosts for this girl-rich fuck-feast. Julie shows much potential: With the right kind of material, she could be a fine actress, but for now I'm happy just to see her get fucked. Which happens later, with co-host Ron Jeremy. Kelsey Hart displays her anal skills in the opener with Mark Davis, who happily shows his lady how to ride the white horse.

With all the girls (15, to be exact), it's no wonder this turns out to be more a big girl/girl exercise than the dick-and-pussy vid I was expecting. Mr. Holliday does redeem himself with a scorcher featuring Tiffany Minx/Van Damage and Gina Ryder/Eric Masterson. This little fourway is the stand-alone scene, complete with the girls begging you to call 555-4-NYMPHOS, all the while taking dicks up their asses. Damn, what concentration. Throw in a little foot fetish, courtesy of Daisy Chain; a lot or girl/girl and some fucking, and you got your neighbor's porno collection.

The "cute chicks who can't cook" bit is pretty fuckin stupid, but you'll get some laughs, especially when Tabitha tries to fry an egg still in the shell. Nothing to do with the sexes... everything to do with stupidity.