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Barely Blue Velvet: A XXX Parody

Barely Blue Velvet: A XXX Parody

Released Feb 26th, 2013
Running Time 125 Min.
Director Jason Danilak
Companies Pearl Productions, Real Productions
Distribution Company Pulse
DVD Extras Bonus Scenes, Outtakes, Still Gallery(ies)
Cast Tasha Reign, Cytherea, Eric John, Sammie Spades, Sonny Hicks, Seth Gamble, Vicki Chase, Alura Jenson, Paul Carpenter
Non-Sex Roles Cassidy Exe, Paul Carpenter
Critical Rating AAAA
Genre Parody - Drama



In this parody of the cinematic masterpiece "Blue Velvet," Jeffrey Beaumont (Seth Gamble) realizes his hometown isn't as normal as it looks when he discovers a severed penis in a field near his house. His investigation leads him into a world of S&M and depraved sex acts involving a mysterious night club singer (Sammie Spades) and a helium-snorting sadist (Eric John). Jeffrey's only ally is Sandy (Tasha Reign), a detective's daughter who may hold the key to both the case and Jeffrey's sanity.


Though this parody won’t be to everyone’s taste, arguably one could say that the world is more complete now that there’s a sexually explicit homage to Blue Velvet, David Lynch’s über-creepy 1986 psychodrama. As in the original, the plot is set in motion with the discovery of a body part—but here it’s a severed penis. Jeffrey (babyfaced Seth Gamble) makes the discovery and takes it to Detective Williams (Riddick Solaris), but he can’t shake his curiosity. With the help of Williams’ daughter (girl-next-door Tasha Reign), Jeffrey delves into the mystery and is soon drawn into the drama surrounding a nightclub singer (Sammie Spades) whose mate has been kidnapped by the villainous Frank.

Eric John inhabits the role of Frank, a psychopathic presence created by Dennis Hopper in the original. Opaque and menacing, he inhales helium through a gas mask, turning his voice into a spooky falsetto.

Though the moodiness of the source material at times overwhelms the eroticism, there’s a generous amount of hardcore action here. Gamble and Reign enjoy some vanilla sex; Gamble gets to watch while John bangs Spades and wraps what looks like blue satin (what, no velvet?) around his dick; and then he eventually gets to fuck Spades himself twice—once in a threesome with Cytherea. And along the way there’s footage of John and Vicki Chase, purportedly shot on Frank’s wedding night, and a tawdry twosome with Frank’s henchman (Sonny Hicks) and a slut named Trixie (Alura Jenson).

Overall, director Jason Danilak provides good banging for the buck. The desert landscapes and seedy motels and apartments are a nice change of pace from the usual porno mansions, with camera and light courtesy of Martin Scoreseasy (hyuk, hyuk).

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