A mixed bag of mixed nuts and missed opportunities. That's a glib but accurate description of Memoirs - whose thinly-veiled nod to a mainstream film is, except for its Asian cast, unrelated. "Wow" factor includes various groupings of (passable) trannies/transvestites/white men and a woman.

Sounds great on paper, but the encounters rarely peak the way they should. Sometimes the chemistry is there (Cindy and Allan make a hot couple... Jeff's bald pate is greased with spooge). Other times the rules of attraction go awry, wasting larger ensembles as their performers stand around like cigar store Indians... though hardly as wooden.

Maybe the P.A. left the Viagra back at the hotel.

Retailing: Trans filler.