So, at the behest of Ron (Tyler Nixon), Harry (Seth Gamble) learns a spell that will make all the girls of Hogwarts grow thickets of hair on their twats overnight. That’s right …to paraphrase the great Wayne Campbell, it’s not just a clever title.

It is, unfortunately, about the only clever thing this movie has to offer—once the spell is cast, we just get a series of scenes in which a different girl shows her hairy twat to a different guy and they fuck—but no matter, we do have to give credit to those behind this for hearkening back to the old school style of cornball porn parodies that weren’t trying to be anything more than just that.

Amusingly, only a few of the actors here even attempt to deliver their lines in a British accent, and the only ones who do anything close to a passable job of it are Jessie Andrews (playing “Hormone”) and Michael Vegas (as “Draco”). That aside, it is a good cast, and they deliver when it comes to what really matter: the sex.

Standouts are the opener and closer, with, respectively, Katie St. Ives (as “Hella Trix”) giving Harry a magical shag, and Tara Lynn Foxx (“Luder”) allowing Draco to sink his magic wand into her hair pie. (Sorry, we couldn’t resist.)