AVN close
-->
All models were at least 18 years old at the time of their performance. 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement.

This Ain't Conan the Barbarian XXX

Released Sep 06th, 2011
Running Time 80 Min.
Director Stuart Canterbury
Company Hustler Video
DVD Extra None
Cast Tommy Gunn, Sean Michaels, Lee Stone, Asphyxia Noir, Jazy Berlin, Brandy Aniston, Jayden Cole, Missy Maze
Non-Sex Roles Kyle Stone (straight), Slick Rhodes
Critical Rating AAAA
Genre Parody

Rating

Synopsis

An epic tale of battle, adventure and conquest ... and the women who pave the way to Conan the Barbarian's path to glory.

Reviews

Conan the Barbarian has been a sci-fi/fantasy staple since his creation in the 1930s, and while many writers and directors have tried to flesh out the character over the years, none have really succeeded, so the makers of this incarnation pretty much had free reign for what to do with him .... other than casting Lee Stone, the obvious choice, as the lead.

Still, we'd like to think that Conan wouldn't just ignore slave girl Jayden Cole, who's been put in the same cell as the big guy in order for him to breed with her, but she ends up just pleasuring herself while Lee continues swinging his plastic sword around, though he does cover her with a fur when she's done.

The fractured plot then sees Conan freed from his slave collar, whereupon he travels south through some decent 3D effects until he get to Asphyxia Noir's house looking for food. What he gets, of course, is some bunga-bunga that includes oral—Wow! Conan licks pussy; who knew?—doggie and mish ... after which she turns into a demon practically before his eyes, then vanishes as a ball of flame, leaving behind a silver dagger, which Conan remembers was last held by the guy who slaughtered his village.

Outside the hut, he meets Tommy Gunn, who decides to travel along, until they come upon a merchant and his wife, who Tommy rents for a few pieces of silver. Turns out she sucks a mean cock, and seems to enjoy mish and reverse cowgirl. Later, the pair runs into thief Jazy Berlin, and after they help her rob the Serpent Tower, the trio is captured by the king, who sends them on a quest to save his daughter from a sorcerer. Along the way, Lee and Jazy get better acquainted by sharing their precious bodily fluids in doggie, reverse cowgirl and mish before the facial.

The king's daughter (Missy Maze) doesn't need saving, however; she loves magic man Sean Michaels' tongue on her pussy, and she moistens his cock pretty well before he inserts it in spoon position. Doggie and mish follow, but just as he cums, he hears the rescuers approaching and kills Jazy with a thrown arrow. This makes Conan mad—and he only becomes more so when he realizes it was Sean who killed his family and village. The final shot is Lee swinging his sword at Sean's head ... and roll credits!

The 3D effects are excellent, even if the sets are a bit cheesy. It's a decent addition to Hustler's 3D lexicon.



More Movies