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Official Halloween Parody

Official Halloween Parody

Released Jun 21st, 2011
Running Time 116 Min.
Director Gary Orona
Company Orona Stevens Productions
Distribution Company Zero Tolerance Entertainment
DVD Extras Behind the Scenes, Cumshot Recap, Still Gallery(ies), Trailer(s), Widescreen
Cast James Bartholet, Lexi Swallow, Chanel Preston, Tabitha Stevens, Dane Cross, Dana DeArmond, Lexi Belle, Kris Slater, Mark Wood, Anthony Rosano, Carina Roman
Critical Rating AAAA
Genre Parody



Even Haddonfield, Illinois has never seen evil quite this twisted! When Michael Myers (Mark Wood) breaks out of the Shady Knobs Asylum where he's been locked up for years for murdering his slutty sister, Dr. Loomis (James Batholet) becomes so obsessed with the unleashed evil that he gets himself into a sexual frenzy which gorgeous latex-clad Nurse Marion is only too happy to indulge. Meanwhile, Michael is headed straight for Haddonfield where nerdy Laurie Strode (Chanel Preston) is busy defending her virginity against her whorish neighbors Lynda (Lexi Belle), Annie (Dana Dearmond) and Bob (Kris Slater). Zeroing in on these wanton losers, Michael takes on various Halloween disguises to get in some serious action with his famously huge schlong—but climaxes are not enough to quench his taste! By the time Laurie goes to investigate, she is horrified at the trail of bodies she finds, and finds herself face to face with Michael! Laurie tries everything to defend herself, but it's Dr. Loomis who finishes the job, leaving him finally satisfied that the evil is gone. But is it?


What starts out as a meticulously executed remake of the granddaddy of all slasher flicks begins feeling a bit like a rush job the further into it you get. Like all Orona Stevens projects, it's shot beautifully with a lot of attention to detail, and nearly every sex scene is above par; but also like a couple of the team's past efforts, the tone is very uneven, sporadically see-sawing between slapsticky and straight. And the last act seems abrupt and thrown together, as if a key plot point or two simply got forgotten about or disregarded somewhere along the way.

Regardless, you gotta delight in the scintillating lineup of ladies here. Mega sex bomb Chanel Preston fills the shoes of Laurie Strode (a major step up from Jamie Lee Curtis if you ask us), who in this version is all grown up but—amusingly—still a virgin. In another updating, the whole story has apparently been transplanted into the future (the opening slaying is said to take place on Halloween night of 1999, and then we flash forward 15 years). AVN Fresh girl Lexi Swallow plays the doomed sister-to-Michael who enjoys a hearty boink with Dane Cross before getting knifed by her bro.

Mark Wood is the man who gets to don the Bill Shatner mask and coveralls, but he also plays a doctor who's afforded a go at nurse Carina Roman after Loomis (James Bartholet half channeling Dr. Evil) gets her so worked up with his evil-babble that she's compelled to blow him. Later, as Michael, Wood gives Annie (Dana DeArmond) the cock up her ass she's been pining for, followed by Lynda (terrific P.J. Soles substitute Lexi Belle) getting busy with boyfriend Kris Slater in an upstairs bedroom. And of course Laurie gives up her cherry to close things out with a literal bang, the insanely lucky recipient being town sheriff Anthony Rosano. 

Halloween aficionados will get a kick out of a lot of this, but some might also argue that with such a ripe source for pornification, it doesn't quite meet its full potential.

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