Someday archaeologists will find this and say, "Hmmmm. Looks like they were trying to make a primitive porn movie." Plump, middle-aged Spanky, in a leopard-print dress and red Harpo Marx wig, makes a couple of twinks in shorts sing a nursery rhyme into a hand-mike. He leaves them in a red room with black leather furniture to practice and they use crotch-mikes instead. Eight models, mostly handsome to okay, break into four suck-couples. One suckee has a giggling fit. They trickle about, sucking, then someone rims a big, plump, near-albino blond. Just when it's starting to feel like a real orgy, someone offscreen yells for them to switch partners. Halfway through the short movie, they just cut away from the lifeless sucking and show the blond being buggered while rock music suddenly blasts. Flashbulbs pop. A couple of other guys get fucked, too. The cameraman continues to direct from time to time. There's a sandwich-fuck. Damn! It's almost like a porn movie! Some guys try to say hot, passionate things, but the others all laugh at them. There's a string of about eight hot minutes before the cast spend the last six minutes trying to jack their wads.

RETAILING: For Spanky's Boys fans, and barely for them.