If history teaches us anything, it?s this: when your car breaks down in the country, definitely do not seek help in the shadowy old mansion. Yet there go handsome young couple Chambord and Bonini, perhaps because they haven?t seen, as we have, evil bald Lemaitre forcing his black slave to perform unspeakable acts (and vice versa). And that?s nothing compared to the magical substitutions of one guy for another, and the mealtime man-piles which happen once you get into the house of evil. The seven-scene movie is great-looking, as you?d expect from this award-wining director. The house has the cutest ghosts, the cleanest dungeon (where bored prisoners kick each other?s balls), the greatest lighting (which keeps everything moody and scary, yet manages to highlight the sexual organs), and the most disgusting secret! Don?t be lured by all those long, dripping, uncut cocks. You have been warned.

RETAILING: For customers who want something different. Hot sex and a funny horror story.